The Best Year of My Life

I recently had a conversation with someone who stated that she had the “best year of her life” at the age of 36. This made me ask, “How the hell do you remember what you did at 36?” and also, “How do you remember it to be your best year of your life?” She went on to explain some profound life events that took place that year that paved the way for the “best year” title.  I got to thinking, “Beth, what year was the best year of your life?” Hmmmm…

While this poses an actual question, the real question that comes to mind is how I would ever remember far back enough to know what happened each year that might push it into 1^st place for Best Year of My Life (hereafter known as BYOML). I barely remember what I had for breakfast this morning let alone the past 39 years. So I’m going to attempt this by going back a few years or so and trying to pinpoint people/events/etc. that might give that year a leg up to take the prize of BYOML.

1994-1998: High school. Nothing about any of these years made any of them the BYOML. As a matter of fact they may have been the WYOML. They really should warn teens about these years being terrible. Yes, I was thin and  I made great friends and yes I had fun experiences, but ugh, terrible years, terrible.

1998-2006: I can bypass all of these years because they just consisted of school, being poor, Freshman 40# (it is 40 right?), working, and not knowing WTH I wanted to do with my life. Fell in lust a few times which obviously didn’t pan out. I learned how to live with roommates and the ups and downs of "being on my own".  I did move to Alaska which must be something good since I am still here… On another upside, I reconnected with friends and family that live here and I love that! 

One of my first roommates ever, Steffy.

2006-2009: Had a menial job that I worked hard at but got paid shit for. Made some lifelong friends. Lived in the basement of someone else’s house. Got matched with my Little Sister Amia-- 11 years going strong!! Started dating the ultimate sociopath/liar/I could go on but I won’t….. Not the BYOML.

Amia and I circa... 2016?

2009-2012: Had a job that I loved, boss I hated. Got fired. Positives- I learned a TON, had the opportunity to travel all over this state, and met some amazing people. Kept dating aforementioned loser until I found out he was cheating on me with half of Anchorage. #sweet #wastedprimeyearsofmylife. BUT, I moved into my little cabin that I continue to love and adore.. so this moves these years up the ladder of BYOML but I do not believe it hit’s #1. Oooh, and I got chickens which we all know makes me incredibly happy. Solid #2.

Not the cheater... but one of my favorite humans Geno!

2013-2017: Nothing really jumps out at me during this timeframe except I met my #1 Boo Boo Torrie who I don’t know what I would do without…So maybe that year is in the running…. Not to mention my brother got married which was cool. Maybe….but it was also the year I lost my Zoe so it’s kind of a catch 22. These were also the years I decided I was going to learn how to say “no” to things I didn’t want to do. Some call it selfish, but without sounding .. well, selfish, I don’t care. Call an Uber the next time you fly into town. I will not lose sleep over it. 

My #1 BooBoo (in a complete heterosexual way)

2017-2019: Got my job at RurAL CAP that I love but am still unsure what I want to do “when I grow up”. I sometimes feel like 40 is going to hit me and I will have nothing to show for it. I’ve skated through life and now I’m at the middle point wondering WTH I did with my life. I recently gave someone the advice that you only live once so make that life worthwhile. Do I live life by that same standard? I do know that I choose to spend time with people who I enjoy and who I trust. I'm over the dramatics and BS. I have enough amazing people in my life to even consider dwelling on those that don't contribute to my awesome life. #byefelicia.

So after many deep thoughts and browsing pictures to see what happened in various years, I’ve come to this simple conclusion: I haven’t had the BYOML. Yet. I have faith it’s still to come. It might look different from what I thought or expected it to be years ago, but I’m okay with that. Desires change. Needs differ. Expectations skew. In the end, I want the next year and the year thereafter to be the BYOML. Why not have something to look forward to?