It Could Be Worse

 It’s Always Something

You know how you feel after getting off a 12-hour flight with three, two-hour layovers with some mechanical issues that make you sit on the runway for an hour with a giant man snoring next to you? You know, that feeling where you can’t take one more step or blink one more time without literally passing out. That’s how I’ve felt for months... literally months.

At first, I blamed the VID. I mean, I couldn’t taste or smell for 9 months so I wasn’t eating a balanced diet to help with metabolism or energy. Then, after about 8 months I realized I would hit a wall around 1pm or 2pm where I had to go lay down right away and then I’d nap for hours. Sometimes two, sometimes three, sometimes more. I’d feel good enough to get up and go on with my day and then I’d crash again at night.

Add in the sweats. Not like sweat pants, although I’ve been wearing a lot of those lately. I mean, shirt-soaking sweats. For those that don’t know about the surgery I had in 2005, I’m not supposed to sweat. Ha! Jokes on me, because lately I’ve been sweating like a ran a marathon backwards when really…  all it took was me getting up off the couch to start the onslaught of drips. Gross, I know.

So, I go to the doctor assuming 100% that I’m going through “the change” and actually praying that’s what it is. She says my lymph nodes and glands are swollen and blah blah blah, let’s do some blood tests. Get a call a few days later that there has been a diagnosis: Epstein-Barr Virus. Ok, what does that even mean? Well, apparently it’s a close sibling to the good ol’ kissing disease mononucleosis. Joy!! Doc tells me most people have had it since they were children but will never have symptoms. As a matter of fact, 90% of you have it. You’re welcome! Lucky for me, I have symptoms, albeit moderate symptoms compared to some who really suffer from it.

I just had a follow-up with doc and I told her, and a good friend of mine who also happens to be a doc, and who also had EBV earlier in her life, that I feel like a hypochondriac. I’m constantly complaining about the giant lymph nodes in regions that I didn’t even know had lymph nodes, wondering if the pressure behind my eye is an aneurism, or if my swollen glands are going to cut off my breathing at night and suffocate me. (this really almost happened) Alas, I am still alive and napping daily and bitching constantly about being hot, or tired, or … the list could go on. Luckily doc says all symptoms are normal and that I should definitely be “taking it easy” and sleeping when needed, but to also try to live my life. Uh, huh. I could barely stand at the sink long enough today to peel beets to can them later. Sad.

But wait! That’s not the best part. Just when you think you’re going to live a long and healthy life because you just have a silly little virus, you join the Epstein-Barr Virus Support Facebook Page. Sweet Jesus!! It’s almost as bad as putting your symptoms into WebMD only to learn you have dysentery, leprosy and polio with a touch of lymphoma and will most assuredly die from a blood clot that you won’t feel. Greeaatttt.

Here’s the thing.. some people who get sick or are diagnosed with a disease or disorder make it their identity and let that diagnosis take over. Fine, you be you. I’m going to take my doc’s advice and really try to live my life (with many naps) and still try to enjoy the things I used to enjoy. So, if I go on a hike with you, be prepared to Sherpa my ass up and down because I won’t be able to go far. 

AND, thank you to my friends and family who have been there to hear me complain, and to those who know that when you call and I don't answer, I'm probably napping. 

Kisses.