I fought the VID, but the VID won.

You know how sometimes you will suffer through a terrible ailment, such as a toothache, that ruins your life for a short time and then you don’t even realize when it’s gone? I’m hoping that is what will happen very soon to me.

In November I was diagnosed with COVID-19 after a short stint to the emergency room. Albeit, some may think I contracted it elsewhere but I’m sticking with my story. A few days after leaving the ER I awoke with a headache like none other that I had ever had.. and I’ve had some doozies. It was as if I slept wrong and every muscle and nerve in my upper torso was cutting off all blood supply to my head. My eye sockets hurt, my teeth hurt, my feelings hurt. I made a new best friend named Excedrin and he let me down. I even went to a little Thai lady who beat the living hell out of my already decrepit body. Nothing worked for days. As quickly as it came, it left and I was left with a sinus type illness that only lasted a few days. (enter thrilling-something bad is going to happen-music)…

I’m not a food craver very often but this one particular day I wanted homemade mac n’ cheese and bbq pulled pork. I NEEDED IT. So, out comes the Instant Pot and away I went on a journey to satisfy my chubby girl craving. Meat is cooked, bbq sauce is added, mac n’ cheese is plated up and it has no flavor. Literally, nothing. I thought maybe I didn’t add enough BBQ sauce, so more was added.. then more.. until it was more like shredded pork in a bbq pool. It was then I knew.. I had the Vid. Got tested and the rest is history… not. IT ISN’T OVER.

I am 5 months and 18 days into my COVID experience and I am still experiencing symptoms. I’ve read articles that say most “long haulers”, (that’s what I’m called), experience neurological issues, sleep issues, etc. etc. I don’t know if I can blame COVID for not being able to remember words or names, or being awake at 4am with crazy thoughts swirling around in my head. I don’t know if COVID is the reason I have to nap almost every single day for over an hour. It could be that I’m just lazy, but I’m going to blame  (shaking my fist)… COVID!! That isn’t the worst of it though. Not by far.

For close to 6 months, SIX MONTHS, I have had little to no taste or smell. Let that sink in for a moment. No taste. No smell.. Let’s talk smell for a moment; something I will never take for granted if I get it back. I’m constantly paranoid that my house stinks (or that I do?!). I’ve left the oven on and couldn’t smell the gas. I can’t smell my shampoo or my perfume or clean sheets. Is the milk bad? Well, it isn’t chunky so it must be okay. Is that chicken poop on my shirt or just mud? It isn’t as though my olfactory senses are completely gone because I smell something all the time. It’s like a musty smell. It’s as if I just opened a trunk filled with your great-great-grandma’s shoes that had been buried with her body for twenty years and then exhumed. If you can’t conjure up that smell, be glad, it isn’t a good one. So, to whomever said, “Stop and smell the roses.”, well, great… I can’t. So, thanks a lot. Great advice.

 As for the taste. While I love many things in life, food was at the tip top of that list. Screw Maslow and his “self actualization”.. I bet Maslow could taste his latkes with no problem. Cooking, which I once loved, is mundane and meaningless because the time spent is moot because I can’t enjoy the results. I’ve eaten rotten shrimp that made me sick because I couldn’t tell they were bad. I eat burnt toast because, well, I can’t taste it. I rarely eat meals anymore and just snack on things that are probably causing me high cholesterol and clotted arteries. I can differentiate between sweet and salty but that is about it. As I sit here with my cup of tea I reminisce about the time I used to be able to drink my beloved black coffee. Now, coffee leaves a bitter, undesirable taste in my mouth.. as does chocolate. So, let me answer the question I get asked most about losing my sense of taste: Have you lost weight? Well, for one, you obviously haven’t seen me lately. And two, no.

 The thing with our brains is that they are really smart, even with COVID brain fog. My little brain knows I prefer pasta to peas, cheese to carrots, and beer to, well, anything. You can’t turn off the fat-girl switch because you can’t taste. I still crave all the things I always did, and I eat all the things I always ate. The problem is, once you get them, they lose their luster quickly. The benefit of not being able to taste is I eat leftovers now. Pre-Vid, the thought of eating something more than once made me want to pull my fingernails out with pliers.. I hate leftovers. Now, I eat ‘em until they’re gone, so that’s good (unless they’ve gone BAD, like those damn shrimp). So, alas, no poundage loss here. At least COVID could have given me that. Bastard.

That’s my saga. I know it’s hard for some people to remember that I can’t smell or taste. I’m constantly getting asked to “try this” or “Do you want pepperoni or Canadian bacon on that pizza?”.. I don’t care. I can’t taste!!! Don’t worry, I’m not mad at you, I'm mad at bats.