Oh, sobriety you silly cad you

My mind and liver are clear after 16 days of sobriety so I decided to take advantage of this time and entertain you with a blog post. Be warned, I talk about "hot topics" in my usual snarky, eye-rolling way. You can agree, disagree, get mad, get happy, or get drunk for me since I am not willing to lose $100 for a cold Coors Light.

2020. What to even say? 10 months down and 2 to go… Can’t imagine what the next two months could possibly bring. Maybe an abominable snowman attack? Maybe the movie 30 Days of Night will come true? Whatever it is, I imagine I will get as excited about it as I am with the COVID. Or the 2018 earthquake. Or the Election. Or our bum-deal Mayor (pun intended). You see, it’s not that I don’t care, because I do… to an extent. Let me explain, so unbunch your undies and simmer down for a second.

I will preface all of what’s to come with the fact that I understand my situation is different than others. I am single, I live alone, I have no kids, my parents live far away, I didn’t lose my job, and I have friends that think like me so I do still have a social network. With that said, I am so sick and tired of hearing about all this stuff (see list above). We are all entitled to our opinions and we all have the capability to listen, learn, fear, worry, etc. etc. What you do with those things is what matters. There is so much on the interwebs that you can’t possibly differentiate fact from fiction, truth from lies, or right from wrong. So what to do? I don’t really care. I don’t. You be you and believe your own truths. It’s not up to me to change your mind and quite frankly, I don’t have the desire to do so. It is not worth it to me or to anyone else to get worked up about all the inequalities and inequities surrounding all the major issues going on. Do you think making a Facebook rant or holding a sign, or rallying in any way is changing anyone’s mind? I mean, really, do you? Why does it seem that everyone’s voices have to be so LOUD all of a sudden? If being loud isn’t getting your cause heard, maybe you should try something else? Kill ‘em with kindness. You catch more bees with honey. Don’t worry, be happy. Make love, not war. You is smart, you is kind, you is important.  See? It’s that easy. I know coming from me it’s pretty rich, right? I know. But I’ve come a long way in being nice. Just be glad you never played soccer against me.

Have you defriended me on Facebook and deleted my name out of your phone yet? No, good.. I shall continue.

Do I want Covid? Nope. Do I want you or anyone else to get it? Nope. Does that stop me from living my life as I did before? Nope. I choose to go out and live my life. I take the precautions, wear my mask, lube up on sanitizer, wash my hands. If you are worried about catching it then my thought is you should probably just stay home or get one of those cool masks that circulate filtered air. Sorry, but not really. We all know we have the potential of getting it (regardless of said precautions), but we also know we could get shot, an STD, and lung cancer… but you don’t see people not going to Mt. View, or having unprotected sex, or quitting smoking. So, you do what you can do to not get it while not becoming a weirdo hermit by never leaving your house. Or become that weirdo hermit; you be you.

People in Anchorage are so apoplectic about the situation with the ol’ Mayor. Why? Because he "sext" someone and took a picture of his ass? Whoopdy doo. If you only knew what “important” people are really doing every day around this town. It’s a small town; we all have stories of indiscretions about the “Who’s Who” in Anchorage. So, what is it that is making people care so much about this? Is it affecting them personally? Is his resignation causing them more harm than when he was Mayor? I mean really, I am asking because I have NO CLUE why anyone would care so much. Also, it makes me do a little shoulder shrug and raise my eyebrow while ruminating about the people I know, who care so deeply for the state of affairs of our lil’ municipality, yet don’t do anything to help the situation. I mean sure, go hold a sign at the Park Strip. Post your opinion on every Facebook post or newspaper article. Better yet? Vote. Volunteer. Join a community council. Write your Legislators. Pick up trash. Donate to a good cause.

Let’s talk Presidential Election for a sec. It’s bad either way, we all know that. So how does berating someone over their decision to vote for an egomaniac or a handsy grandpa help? Yeah, chastising someone over their opinion in an open forum usually results in positive outcomes..👍  These people post about being accepting of all, loving thy neighbors, and all these frufru quasi-Christianesque do-gooder things and then one person mentions Trump and they go OFF THE RAILS, boil your rabbit, crazy. Whoa, whoa, New Age Mother Teresa, what happened to your peace-minded, piousness now? It’s cool, you can go back to your sanctimonious self on the social media now. See you in hell.

Stepping off my very tall, wobbly soapbox now. I’ll close with this:

If you know me, you know I can be the biggest a-hole there is, which is why you’re probably scoffing at this post. But from being that bull-in-the-China-shop, outspoken, direct woman, I’ve learned that sometimes it’s best to just shut the mouth.. usually real fast. Can you have an opinion? Of course. But if you do, and you can’t have a considerate, adult conversation about it, then just don’t bring it up. Let bygones be bygones. And for the love of all things holy, please don’t post about it on Facebook (insta-de-friend). I also do care about people and things. I don’t want anyone to get hurt (I’ve heard those riot signs can be a sliver danger), I don’t want anyone to get sick, and I don’t want anyone to care so much about any of these things I’ve written about that it affects our friendship. But if it does affect our friendship negatively, and of course that is your prerogative, I wish you well and I will relish in the .55¢ I will save not having to send you a Christmas card.

Any and all opinions in this blog post are solely those of the author. 

Any and all of your opinions about this post, unless positive and uplifting, 

can be kept inside that capacious head of yours until you can discuss it with someone who really cares.

Say It Like You Mean It

Dear Readers of my ongoing blog o’ nonsense,

 

I've been a wee bit annoyed lately. While I am really enjoying aspects of this little respite called quarantining, some are not as pleasant. Having to communicate through email, text, chat threads, and online has been...frustrating. Who knew that having that face to face interaction really makes that much of a difference? Or is that really the issue?

We learn to speak between one and two years old, yet some people never really learn how to communicate. Sure, a sentence can be made, and a question can be asked, but when it really counts why is it so difficult for some people to speak? I’m not talking about extrovert vs. introvert, or anything like that. I’m talking about being an adult and knowing and understanding the importance of effective communication. Do not think I’m not guilty of this, but for the most part I’d say I’ve come a long way in knowing when and how to say things and knowing it’s not what you say, but how you say it.. or so I’ve been told.

 

As adults, people come and go in our lives when jobs change, people move, or you learn that these people just don’t have the gall to say what it is they need to say time and time again. I am tired. I am tired of trying to play the "guess why I'm upset now" games. If I ask you a question or request information from you, I’m not doing it for shits and giggles. I’m asking because it affects my life in some way. What kind of person just ignores that? Say you’ve worked with/known them for a year, or five years, or a decade. Does it matter the length of time? Absolutely not. It is rude, inconsiderate, and absolutely appalling that someone who calls you a friend, colleague, partner, or “part of your family”, would not have the decency to simply… respond. What is that they say? 'Speech is silver; silence is golden'. Well, you can keep your gold. I have always liked silver better anyway.

 

 

I suppose that most of us don’t say anything when we should be saying something because of the potential repercussions. What would happen if someone told their boss that they thought the last meeting was a colossal waste of time because not one thing was decided in the two hours you talked in circles? Would they be fired? Would they be written up? Would they appreciate the feedback? Who knows? What would happen if you told your longtime boyfriend that he can’t always be the one making the decisions about your life together? That you don’t want to be stuck in the same “dating” cycle for another year. What if you were to tell him that you two aren’t on the same page, and if you don’t get there soon, that will be the end? Who knows? Why wait to find out if what you have right now isn’t what you want or need? It is that uncertainty of the response that stops people from saying what they really need and want to say. Just say it!!

My father and I didn’t utter the words I Love You for years. YEARS. It was awkward and uncomfortable, and we just don’t talk to each other like that. Just the thought of saying it made me shudder with anxiety. Unfortunately, it took something bad to happen to make us both realize we were being absurd. The first time he said it to me I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t prepared for it. I quickly responded back with the same three words, hung up, and called my mom to tell her he had said it. Then I called my best friend to tell her. It was that shocking. Yet, it was the best shock of my life and I will cherish those three words from him. Some people say it frequently and I often wonder if it begins to lose its power. If it just becomes part of your regular repertoire of sayings to your loved ones, does it hold the same meaning? I don’t know- I don’t say it very often. I want someone to know I really mean it when I say it and that it’s not just a phrase that I’m going to end a phone call with.

 

Most of you know that I can be, at times, overtly honest in my opinions and responses. Isn’t that better than not responding at all? Why would you ask me if you didn’t want an honest answer? If my two-cents is unwarranted, fine tell me to kick rocks. My best relationships are with people who are as honest with me as I am with them. Can it be uncomfortable at times? Sure, because she looks fat in those pants and doesn’t want to hear it. Fine, don’t ask… and for the love of God take those pants back.

 

All I ask if you are someone that I deal with regularly and consider me a friend or family member, colleague or acquaintance, communicate effectively. Try it, be honest, be open, put your guard down. Ask for what you want and explain why you need it. If you lose people because of it, then good riddance. Thank me later.

 

Sincerely,

Thinks she has her PhD in psychology,

Beth