Since I currently have ample time to sit and ponder life, I get to thinking that maybe Alaska and I need to break-up. Maybe I need to move on with my life and get out of this relationship. I've tried for 10 years to make it work and it just hasn't. Then I think, "What hasn't worked?" I've met some great people, had some amazing experiences, and get to live in an amazingly beautiful place. So what's my issue? Why do I want to break-up with you Alaska? Here are a few reasons in no particular order:
1. Well, Alaska.... you're kind of a whore. With such a diversity of people here there is bound to be issues, but DANG GINA, it is getting bad here! Shootings, stabbings, robberies, murders.. I feel like I’m living in the ghettos of Compton. You can’t read the paper without reading about someone dying the night before. It’s a tab bit scary in these parts.
2. I’m really so over your mood swings. It’s supposed to be cold with snow in the winter and warm with sunshine in the summer. It isn’t that hard to get it straight? I don’t bother ever looking at the forecast because you change your mind on a whim. I think you need to get on hormones and keep on an even keel. Even though I’ve enjoyed winter for awhile now, I’m a bit over shoveling, changing tires, wearing jackets, and all the other stuff that comes with winter. I just want sun… all the time.
3. Your bosses. You see Alaska, the people that run you can’t seem to get it right. You have so many different people here trying to run things, and it seems that all of those people are out for themselves and not for the betterment of the whole. For such a unique place, we should be working together to make you better and we aren't. I've never lived anywhere where every. single. issue. is debated/discussed/debated again over and over again. It's as though people just need to hear themselves speak and they have to have an opinion even if they don't know what the hell they're talking about.
4. You ain’t cheap! Not only do we pay exorbitant prices for food here, we also have to pay high prices to cook that food! Cut us a break here. Not to mention taking some time to myself Alaska. Sometimes I need my alone time and need to leave you for a bit but man oh man you have to sell your soul to get an affordable ticket out of here. Maybe instead of the dividend we get a, “Get out of Alaska” free ticket each year. Cabin fever is a real thing you know. Mythbusters proved it!
I know I’m bringing up a lot of baggage Alaska- it hasn’t all been bad. There are so many things I’ve appreciated about you in the past 10 years. Topping that list would be the lack of poisonous spiders, fleas/ticks, skunks. The inability for people to ride crotch rockets all year. Your utter lack of social standards when it comes to dress codes.
So what does this mean? I’ve said it time and time again— I should move out of Alaska. Yet I never do. Why is that? What hold do you have on me Alaska? We only live once, so why not go try out another state, or hell, even another country? I have husband.. kids… JOB (haha).. just a cat and chickens. Is it fear of starting over? Having to make new friends? Maybe I just bite the bullet and do it? If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Why haven’t you?
