Looking at the beautiful trees

We all have parts of our personalities that range from endearing to grossly unattractive. For those that know me (or think that you do), you might be surprised to learn that I've always been a "yes" person. I would say yes to things even if I didn't want to do them. I'd agree to do things for other people because I kept thinking that I'd want them to do the same for me, or because I cared about the person.

Here’s the thing, and it’s an important thing… I am done being a yes person! It's like an elephant off my shoulders.

• No, I don’t want to pick you up at 3am at the airport—take a cab!
• No, I don’t want to go to your tupperware, home interiors, scentsy or any other fad parties. That stuff is overpriced and over rated. Quit inviting me or be prepared for me to show up and eat all of your food and drink all of your booze.
• No, you can't bring your weird friend to my party. He's a creep!
• No, you can’t sleep on my couch. My house is 450sq ft for God’s sake! 

The list could go on…

You see, I used to do things to be nice, but in reality, maybe I’m just not that nice or maybe I just have a more... lackadaisical approach to things now. Maybe it’s the whole reciprocity thing; I scratch your back, you scratch mine. I have no nails left from scratching! I know you shouldn’t do things expecting something in return but sheesh, come on! 

Here’s a perfect example:

I was unemployed for a long, long time. I worked in an industry with really great people who I          thought were supportive of me and the work that I did. I truly thought I would not have a hard time finding another job because of the work that I'd done. The truth was, only two friends sent me job postings. Two. They constantly kept an eye out for me and that meant a lot. That was when I realized that all the work that I did, connections I made, favors I pulled, resources I knew of, meant nothing. I have friends looking for work and when I see a job that I think fits them, I send it. It takes two seconds and I hope they know that when I hit send, it means I’m thinking of them and wishing them well. It’s that easy. I’ve definitely moved into the part of my life where I am going to do things I want to do rather than do things I think I should do because it'd be nice of me.

Here’s the other, equally important thing: I just don’t give a darn anymore. I would use a variation of darn if my mother wasn’t reading this, but I’m sure she is. I read Mark Manson’s article and it truly hit home with me. (Read it here) It basically talks about not giving a “darn” anymore. Why do you care about the little things? Do they really affect you that much--or at all? Are you putting more energy into caring than not caring? It’s so silly really. I’ve become a master shoulder shrugger adding the “whatever” look to go with it. Life is really just too darn short to care about the petty things.

So now you know- if I say No to something, I really do not want to do it. If I say Yes, then you should know that I really don't mind doing it at all. I guess what it all comes down to is letting go of all the crap. My mom told me a story about a man that she recently met at a party. He was super excited to go out on the lake with his sister and while waiting for a long time for her to be ready, my mom said to him, "I bet you're ready to go out, your sister sure is making you wait a long time!" He responded with, "Oh, that's ok. I am just sitting here looking at the beautiful trees and scenery."

 If only we could all think like that it'd sure be a better place. 

Why the longest relationship I've had, is with my cat.

I am 35, single, and I raise chickens and a cat. While to some of you that may sound a tad pathetic, to me it makes total sense. You see, I’ve dated, met guys at bars, been introduced by friends and now have succumbed to the utter disaster called online dating.

There is an intrigue when it comes to online dating. You get to instantly judge someone by their pictures and then by what they say (or don’t say) in their profile. We all judge differently. I know this because several friends of mine often compare our “online matches”; whether good or bad.

Anyone who knows me knows that I can be a bit….picky. But just because I’m 35 and single doesn’t mean I need to settle for someone just to be with someone. I have never, nor will I ever be, that person. I don’t need to be in a relationship, it’d just be nice- sometimes. Have someone to do things with, cook for/with, annoy by making them watch old musicals, and so on. But the old saying here in Alaska sure rings true: The odds are good, but the goods are odd. Ain’t that truth!!

Here are a few things I’ve learned from guys that online date here in AK:

• They love to take pictures with their: trucks, motorcycles, boats, 4-wheelers, etc.

• They think we swoon over their half-naked mirror selfies-- we do not.

• They have never, ever passed a spelling test. EVER.

• Even though you say, “No thank you”, they will message you at least 3 more times.

•  I can only assume they don't have any friends because the majority of their pictures are selfies. 

• They don’t seem to mind that they’re old enough to be your father/grandfather.

• They have a lot of tattoos. Primarily on their necks… or face… 

• More than a few have had some sort of glamour shots done—something I just don’t get at all. 

• They think it’s funny to ask me about my “cocks”-- Because I've never heard that before!

• Their entire profile says, “I’m not good at talking about myself. Just ask!”--No thanks!!

• Their messages say something like, “Hey beautiful” or, “Hey there sexy” --- Umm.. hello to you big, bad boy…??  Ick.

Not all guys that online date are utterly ridiculous- but I do think the majority are. Is it worth it? No. But it sure makes for interesting girl talk. I imagine there may be a diamond in the rough out there, but I think I’d have to dig really, really deep to find it. I’m not sure it’s worth the effort. So what if I’m single forever? I can take my own garbage out, mow my own lawn, and fix my own toilet. Then again, I can’t kill anything (spiders/chickens/etc), I won’t camp by myself, and I can’t hug myself if I need one… so maybe there is an upside to having a man around………

 

March Visitors

Margaret, aka Marge and I met in 2006 when I first started working at Big Brothers Big Sisters. I was taking over her job as she moved on to another in-house position. We shared an office and unbeknownst to me, she didn't particularly care for me. I liked her, but thought she was weird because she'd make her own bread, cream of mushroom soup and dressed like a schoolmarm straight out of The Little House on the Prairie. A year later her and her husband moved back to his home state of Arkansas. I can't tell you when or why become friends, but she's come to be a sister to me and I am glad that she finally realized how awesome I truly am. :)

I have been to see Marge and her growing family numerous times. As of now she has 5 kids ranging in age from 6 years old to 9 months. I think she's crazy, she loves it. With her husband working offshore a month at a time, and because she has FIVE KIDS, I never thought in a million years she would come to visit. But she did.

Marge arrived late at night with Opal (6 years old) and Evelyn (9 months old) in tow. After a tumultuous airport pickup because she didn't know how to drive her rental car..ahem... she made it safe to her friend's sister's house where she would be staying.

It was a whirlwind trip for us four girls. It also happened to be the coldest week this winter! We went to the Iditarod festivities, carnival, zoo, Alyeska to go up the tram, Hatcher Pass to "sled", and many other adventures. Opal got to see moose, eagles, and even Dall Sheep. It was great having them here and I wish they lived closer. As I'm sure she will be holding this trip over my head for years to come, I imagine I will have to visit her next.

It Lives Up to It's Name

No matter what you call it- Mount McKinley or Denali, the Athabascans got it right when they aptly named it, "The Great One". 

Marleanna and I decided to spend Thursday and Friday at her cabin in Willow to celebrate her being one year older (but not wiser we later learned) :)  We woke up Friday morning with plans to walk around on the frozen lake, visit neighbors, ride the quad and take a sauna. First and foremost, we wanted breakfast at the Willow Trading Post. After satiating our hungry bellies, we were homeward bound. Until... we crossed over the Parks Highway and looked to our right and saw this:

Ok not exactly this view, but similar, just further away. So, we decided to drive to Talkeetna to see if we could get a better peak. We did at the river:

And after hanging around town for an hour or so, we got this view from the a hill on the way out of town. The sun was just setting and it was amazing. Pictures really just can't do it justice. 

All in all it was a great time and I was reminded of the fact that I really do live in a truly spectacular place.

Almost Spring-- The reason we live in Alaska

You never know how much you take advantage of things like being able to wear shoes that have no treads, not having to carry Kleenex with you everywhere you go, always being on guard for that huge piece of gravel that is going to fly into your windshield with a sound that resembles a gunshot. Oh, Winter how we so love when you're gone.

Don't get me wrong, spring isn't all sunshine and roses either. It's a time where the snow melts and leaves gigantic pools in your yard that smell remotely like dog poop. It's a time where you see all the trash that has gathered along the roads. And it's a time where you want to pull out the cute shoes and skirts but it just isn't quite warm enough yet.

I'm not complaining, I'm just pointing out the facts. In the end, us Alaskans really have about 3-4 months out of the year that are thoroughly enjoyable. That is, if it isn't raining or if the mosquitoes aren't so bad you can't leave the house. So why do I live here?

Because it's one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. Because it's a land of opportunity where if you wanted, you could do pretty much whatever you want; start a business, run for office, become a mountain runner, a deep sea crabber, or whatever it is that floats your boat (and hopefully keeps it afloat). Because even though it's the largest state in our nation, I can go to pretty much any place and know someone. It's that "small" of a state.

Don't believe me? Look here: https://bethk98.jux.com/

Oh, what a diference a month makes!

We went through October astonished by the beautiful weather and lack of snow.  As November neared, and a record of having no snow, we were thankful for the prolonged fall weather.

 A month and 10 days later, it seems as though winter has arrived. Oh joy.

Oh, What a Summer it Was!

Now that we are rolling into fall, I think back to pretty much the best summer weather-wise, I've seen since moving back to Alaska 7 years ago. SEVEN YEARS AGO- yikes!

Here is a look back at a few of my favorite moments of this summer:

The Girls.

The Girls are doing great! I have enjoyed them more than one could ever think they'd enjoy chickens. They are quirky, smart, and have become a great addition to my little family.

The Garden.

Gardening takes a lot of work and even more patience. Waiting for things to grow, questioning why things aren't growing, and then wondering what the heck you're going to do with all the veggies!  I can't wait for next year, the year of the epic garden!

Graduation. Graduation BBQ. Mom's Visit.

15 years of school. I should be a doctor, two times over. But alas, I am not.. I received my Bachelor's degree in Human Services and I am SO glad I'm done with it!  Aside from the degree, I also received a visit from my momma and a great graduation party filled with friends and family. 

Fun Things.

Fishing the Russian River.

Jessie and I camping with friends.

Hiking in Hatcher Pass.

Kayaking Eklutna Lake with Amia.

Fishing the Kenai River @ Matt's house.

Gold panning.

Fishing, camping, hiking, kayaking, more fishing, gold panning.. add to that berry picking, weekends at the lake, playing softball, and building stuff. Good times.

Friends.

This summer was filled with friends.  I spent a lot of time fishing with my buddy Matt down on the Kenai and Russian. I also had the opportunity to meet and spend time with his amazing parents.

Marleanna and I have known each other through work

Mark and gold panning.

Marleanna and I hiking Rabbit Lake.

Gene and I camping.

Greg on our last camping trip in AK.

Tara and I camping in Hope.

Matt rowing us down the Kenai.

for the past 4 years, but we have become really great friends this year. I spent time up at her cabin in Willow, playing softball, and going on a few hikes.

Greg left Alaska this year for Denver and it's been sad without him here.  I hardly did any real camping because it's just not as easy to camp with other people.  I miss that guy.

Tara and her husband came up from Washington to visit and fish this summer and it was great to catch up. I hadn't seen her in almost 10 years. We met playing soccer while we were in high school and have remained in touch throughout the years.  I was her Maid of Honor in her wedding and now she has 3 kids! Crazy!

  End of Summer. 
With summer coming to an end, I can only be thankful for the time and experiences I've had.  Having been unemployed through the course of the last year and a half, I will be heading back to work soon.  I will miss the time off, but I won't miss being poor. 
Luckily I had this time to spend with my friends and family, and I can look back at this ever-so-trying time to see some rays of sunshine.